A new song I wrote and recorded today.
A new song I wrote and recorded today.
two things! first, a criticism of the NSA and its project, Stellar Wind, which collects data on millions of Americans for totally inane reasons. not available in video form yet, it can be listened to here: https://soundcloud.com/star-dust-20/stellar-wind
secondly, a song about how sad i am to be aging, peppered with embarrassing photos from my previous days.
Every jerk who knows me knows I have been frequently suicidal. I wrote this song as a combination petulant shout / resigned sigh at the fact that no, I am not going to kill myself, but that doesn’t mean the urge goes away.
Tell the preacher that I died but he don’t need to anoint me
Tell the fuckers from my past that they should’ve gone and joined me
Tell my sister that I love her, she’s the only one that I could stand.
Tell my mama to stop drinkin, she’s the reason why I did it
Tell the jealous girls with boyfriends that they did not in fact hit it
Tell my few remaining friends if they know me then they’ll get it
After all, we saw it coming
Never once thought to deflect it
And oh, I wish that I was dead and rotting in the ground
or lying sweetly in a casket with the public saying
what a pity, what a shame, she never played her part,
what a pity,what a shame, she died of a broken heart.
Tell the married men I’m sorry and I never meant to hurt them
Tell the people who are listening that I’m sorry to desert them
Tell the ones who feel guilty that their part was very small
Tell the people who do wonder that I think I love them all
Tell the boy who sells guitars that I never did stop wishing
that the girl that he is with now would be kind in her position
Tell the boy in California that I never will stop thinking
Of the meadow that we lay in staring wildly without blinking
You been wearing those jimmy hats?
Lyrics to Emanor:
She held out the costume, said, “It’s only for a day,
what matters is how you really look–for now you’re better off this way,
so dry your eyes and wear a smile, it’s not so fuckin’ hard
as you make it seem, pretend it’s all a dream.
In one day you’ll be golden stars and lily ponds and everything that cares.
You’ll find you really love your home, you’ll find your lover wants you there,
I don’t know what to tell you now to make this go away
I hope that it’s only for a day, but in the meantime
Think of how much nicer you will look to all your fellow men
think of how the mask will fit to cover up the pain again
You’re not the only one that’s sad, it just happens more to you
You’ve got to learn how to fake it too”
She held out the costume, said, “Now, don’t forget your lines;
if you can’t get it right again, they’ll fire you for real this time.
So raise your voice, clear as a bell, and sing
like it’s your last show, and no one knows but you.”
Do I have the balls to keep up a video podcast? Watch as I flare my nostrils and do a talkin’ song about marijuana and poverty! Whee! Happy Thanksgiving!
Today I’m thankful that, three years after it all started, I can post videos from gigs on my website that has my name, my music name. I am thankful I have this outlet for the things that, when I say them in conversation, scare people away. I am thankful for all of it. Happy Thanksgiving, everyone. Enjoy the song.
Applause ! Applause!
You can’t expect the world not to like you now,
with that crooked smile upon your face, your quite attractive lack of grace–
you lost all of the weight you had to lose,
and now you’re free to live your life just how you choose.
You quick replaced the cooking oil with alcohol.
It would be wrong to claim hypocrisy–it came as a surprise, you see,
that everybody wanted you to be up here
and face a monumental judgement by your peers,
and it’s the first attention you’ve been paid in years.
You always guessed that you would once again smoke cigarettes.
It is a triumph in this modern day that airbrushing can hide the way
the wrinkles are beginning to deform your eyes
and the indie-colored bicycle does nothing for your thighs
and the laughter you emit conceals the lies.
Oh, another girl would cherish how the world knows her by name by now
and each concession she’s allowed is more than she could ask for
and a better girl would be the stuff of dreams and that would be enough
to soothe her when the hours got rough and late–but wait,
at least you have
A hundred mouths exclaiming what a gem you are.
They overlook your crooked teeth, the dirt embedded in your feet,
they even think your spectacles are hip, and so
you can be yourself and they won’t even know–
and so it goes.
I wrote this song after seeing all the development going on in Montana. Performed at Ted’s Fun on the River, 11/20/13. Thanks to Sue Kropp for posting this video.
Whenever I dreamed of home, I couldn’t paint the way
age would have killed the trees, time would have changed this place
I didn’t think to count how many wintertimes
had had their curtain call, still mumbling forgotten lines
Now every faded costume has been pinned out to dry
and when I called to tell you that I would arrive that night, you only asked, “Why?”
Here lies the golden grass, dry from the sun’s embrace
See how the cedar stump gashes look like a laughing face
There is a breeze that comes, but not quite often enough
to penetrate the dust with what could be called love
They built a sidewalk here, you say in April of last year
I never thought the city would go so far or draw so near
You say the next good rain might wash your life away
You say that heaven must feel just like a summer’s day
So you and I climb on a boat, stop up the drain, manage to float,
sail on a Lethe bored of its path ready to swallow us if we just ask.